ic inbox

[enarms]

"John Watson's phone. I'm either busy or ignoring you, in which case you'll know who you are. Leave a message."

(text | voice | video | snail mail | action | honestly whatever)

Comments

[enarms]

[ it takes him a while. a very long, frightened while. the kind of frightened while every person knows, the frightened while of Why Is My Mother Disappointed In Me, and it is after a much extended version of this while that it finally—

oh. oh my god, Claire, do you know how long it's been since I did anything on Mother's Day, oh my god ]

I didn't want you to have to share it with everyone else. Obviously I have many flowers prepared for this the following incredibly special day.

[nineteenfortyfive]

They'd better not be left in a pile of broken pots and soil on my doorstep.

[enarms]

Would I do that to you?

[ john. ]

[nineteenfortyfive]

[Her eyes rolled so far back into her head she may need corrective surgery.]

Perhaps you should take me out for dinner instead.

[enarms]

That I can do. Any particular favourite?

[nineteenfortyfive]

You're buying, so I think you should pick whatever is in your budget.

[You know she's happy as long as there's wine.]

This all could have been avoided if you'd at least gotten me a card. I don't know if I'll ever recover from being so utterly disregarded. Forgotten. Abandoned.

[enarms]

For you, nothing is too dear.

[ look at him look at this almighty grovelling but okay we'll go somewhere with ideal wine ]

By me. Your very own child. Oh the humanity!

French or Italian? Or would you rather hearty pub fare? Or shall we wander off the beaten track and venture out of Europe? I'm taking you on a culinary excursion to atone for my sins. We can go anywhere.

[nineteenfortyfive]

I'm sure you're a sweetheart and sent your actual mother something when you were back home. Rang her up, at least.

[What high expectations she has of you, John Watson!]

French will do. Dress nicely. We'll take a picture and terrify Freddie.

[-25 to your selfie game when John's in the shot.]

[enarms]

[ is this sarcasm or are you being genuine because honestly either way it's very sad

additionally: do we have to (and that's very rude) ]

You two seem pally these days. Would've thought a middle of the night cupboard raiding would put you off if nothing else could.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Pally might be pushing it, but I think we've gotten to know one another a little better than we did before. We've at least established that you and I are not secretly lusting after one another. So there should be a stop to those comments now that I've ruined all the fun.

[enarms]

Oh good, that conversation's been had. Glad he listens to you and not to me.

[nineteenfortyfive]

He was surprisingly sweet, if only for a little while. [PROBABLY THE PAIN MEDS but she won't get into that.]

[enarms]

That sounds like an accurate description of Freddie yeah. Wait for the claws.

[nineteenfortyfive]

I know. But it's nice to know that he can be human just like the rest of us.

[enarms]

I'm glad you found out the nice way. The constant stream of self-neglect tipped me off.

[ claire this is what he's salty about right now you definitely can't have nice things today ]

[nineteenfortyfive]

Is he suddenly a sore topic? I thought you'd be glad that we're getting along better than we once did. You remember that.

[enarms]

No, I am glad. Good. It's nice you're getting along.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Did it pain you to type that?

I promise, you're still my favourite.

[enarms]

Of course I am. And I always will be. I've got the means to kill off competition.

[nineteenfortyfive]

[That escalated quickly.]

Dare I ask?

[enarms]

A gun. I own a gun.

[ what's happening ]

That was a joke.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Which part?

[enarms]

The part where I'll kill off competition.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Just checking. Now I know the extent of your affections.

[A gun!!! That's new information, but she'll decline to comment on that bit.]

[enarms]

I can start shooting at potential usurpers if it'll make up for the lack of a card.

[ john...... let it die..... ]